A Child's View: "We're All In This Together"

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BY: Vanessa Smylie, MSW

CATEGORY: Grief and Loss
PUBLICATION: About Grief

 

​Children and teens are often told “we’re all in this together” in times of loss to remind them that other people are grieving, too. But this phrase can also bring hope. Through a grieving child’s eyes, hope can be missing, lost or hidden. This is a crucial time for the trusted and caring adults in their life to be able to restore that hope and a sense of openness to what they are feeling. While grieving, hope is often the force that keeps us moving forward. Hope allows us to wake up in the morning and take on the day, to endure that next big cry and face that next emotion of uncertainty. Providing hope and a listening ear as an adult who is also grieving can be a difficult task. But here is the funny thing about hope: like a sunflower, it droops its head in darkness, but always lifts to find the light. We can’t always see hope or even feel it, but it consistently and gently nudges us to keep taking that next step forward.

Restoring hope for our children and young adults goes hand in hand with respecting their emotions and their grieving rights. Inspired by the government’s “Bill of Rights” that gives citizens’ rights and respect, a group of teens from Good Grief, Inc. developed a “Grieving Bill of Rights.” This list can serve as a reminder to adults to view grief through the lens of children and teens to understand that they may need extra time, space, or even permission to grieve in different ways. Showing kids that we understand they are grieving after a death of a loved one lets them  know that they are cared for, heard and respected. 
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