A Child’s View: A Million Questions! Every One is Worth Asking

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CATEGORY: Grief and Loss
PUBLICATION: About Grief

​When someone you love dies, there seem to be a million questions and so few answers. Parents, teachers, counselors, friends and family are all there to offer support and listen to the questions, but sometimes they don’t have clear answers. And, no, you are not crazy for asking the questions—they are an important part of your journey through grief. Here are some questions you may have:

Why did this happen?
Will someone else I love die too?
Will I die?
Will mommy/daddy ever stop being sad?
Where is my loved one now?
Can I still play and have fun?
Was the death my fault?
Will the hurting ever stop?

Healing from the death of your special person is a long journey. As you walk along the path you may find answers that will comfort you. Creating a memory scrapbook can allow you to ask some of your difficult questions, help you to say goodbye and recall important memories to hold onto forever.

Here are some ways to begin:

•    Write a letter to your loved one describing important times you spent together.
•    Write a goodbye letter, telling your loved one how much they mean to you and describing your life since you lost them.
•    Draw a picture of what you are feeling.
•    Write a poem using the letters of you loved one’s name to begin each new line of the poem.
•    Take pictures of places and things that remind you of your special person.
•    Choose special readings and photographs of you and your loved one to put in the journal.
•    Create a page that lists the loving people who remain in your life to support you.
•    Draw a mandala describing the many feelings you experience each day. A mandala is large circle with special marks inside to represent your feelings, such as a sad face or a smiley face, a stick figure jumping or lying down, a face with tears or two stick figures hugging.
•    Write in your journal about how you felt following the death of your loved one. Add entries every few days or weeks to see how your feelings change.

When you have filled your journal and it feels complete, work on the cover. Do you want to paint it, paste a special photograph of your loved one or make a collage of pictures and words cut out from magazines? Create a cover that represents your relationship with your loved one. Pick a special place to keep your scrapbook.

Most of all remember:
Every question is worth asking.
Ask for what you need.
Know that you are loved.
And good things WILL happen again.

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