A Child's View
Hi, kids. When someone you love dies, it feels like there are a million questions and not a lot of answers. The adults in your life are all there to offer support and listen to your questions, but sometimes they don’t have a clear answer. And no, you are not crazy for asking the questions. They are an important part of your journey through grief.
Some questions you may have:
- Why did this happen?
- Will someone else I love die too?
- Will I die?
- Will mommy/daddy ever stop being sad?
- Where is my loved one now?
- Can I still play and have fun?
- Was the death my fault?
- Will the hurting ever stop?
Remember that healing from your loss is a long journey. As you walk along the path you may find answers that comfort you. In time, your pain will become a little softer and easier to cope with. Some kids (and even adults) find that creating a memory book or a journal can help you to explore difficult questions, find ways to say goodbye and to recall important memories to hold close to you forever.
Here are some tips to help you get started:
- Write a letter to your loved one describing important times you spent together
- Write a goodbye letter, telling your loved one how much they mean to you and describing your life since they’ve been gone
- Draw a picture of what you are feeling
- Write a poem
- Take pictures of places and things that remind you of your special person
- Create a page to describe the loving people who remain in your life to support you
- Write in your journal about how you felt following the loss of your loved one; add entries every few days or weeks to see how your feelings change
Think about what you would like on the cover. Do you want to paint it, attach a special photograph of your loved one or make a collage of pictures and words cut out from magazines? Create a cover that represents your relationship with your loved one. Pick a special place to keep your journal/scrapbook.
Most of all remember:
Every question is worth asking • Ask for what you need • Know that you are loved • Good things WILL happen again