Journaling Through Grief

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BY: Tensie Holland, LSW, CT

CATEGORY: Grief and Loss
PUBLICATION: About Grief

 

​The grieving process fills us with many different feelings. They dash in and out, some linger for a time, some grip us tightly and some become a part of us. As we grieve, we carry them around with us and often we are overwhelmed. We wonder, "What do I do with these feelings?" We may wish that we could find someone to share each feeling with us, as well as each story and memory. However, this solution is not always possible.
 
One of the ways we can identify and express our feelings is through creating and using a personal journal. The purpose of journal writing is to afford ourselves the time to attend to our grief by expressing the feelings we so often keep inside. Our journal may house our innermost thoughts and provide a healthy release from these emotions.  It provides a safe place to express ourselves.  It acts as a reflector of what we are experiencing and can give us the stimulation and support which many of us seek from other people.  
 
Writing is an effective way of identifying our feelings while sharing them with a "fully accepting friend."  This allows us to release our powerful emotions. We can use it as our companion on the long journey of grief, bringing to it our own unique feelings and experiences.  While our inner world is chaotic, journaling helps to add structure to our outer world by assisting us in clarifying our thoughts and feelings.
 
You may choose to make your own journal or purchase one at most bookstores. There are also several geared specifically for the grieving person and offer daily guides to journaling.  When journaling, you may simply jot down feelings, or you may wish to write a narrative.  Some have found it helpful to write daily letters to their loved one or to their God or Higher Power.  In addition to your feelings, you may want to include drawings of your own or illustrations from magazines and articles. Helpful or inspirational quotations you hear or read may also be incorporated into your journal.  
 
Over time, you may find that journaling has been very therapeutic in helping you move through your grieving process.  Remember, it is your unique journal. You bring to it who you are.
 
Is it hard to know how to begin the journal entries?  Try using phrases that trigger your thoughts, emotions or memories...

I feel....
I forgot to tell you....
You taught me....
You would be proud to know that I.....
I can hear you say....
I remember....
I am grateful for....
I will get through the day by....
I get support from....
It helps me to ...

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