Ginny’s Story

Ginny is a retired registered nurse and lovely woman who has been attending Fabric and Feelings, a Healing Arts workshop. She had always loved to sew, but as a nurse and mother of three boys, rarely had the time. She started coming to the group in March of 2016, several months after her husband died.

“My husband, Dave, died in July of 2015. He was both a Hospice of the Western Reserve volunteer and later, a patient of Hospice of the Western Reserve. He decided to volunteer when he received his cancer diagnosis. It was his way to pay it forward, as ‘I may need their services someday.’” Ginny told me that as a six-year volunteer, Dave had visited multiple hospice patients in their homes to provide respite for loved ones. He also volunteered weekly at the now-closed Hospice Resale Shop in Lyndhurst. Two months before he died, he insisted that Ginny take him to the Resale Shop (he was unable to drive himself at this time) to perform one of his duties, vacuuming the store. Ginny said that ultimately, he was unable to complete the task, but it provided connection with his friends there.

“Dave wore Hawaiian-style shirts from spring to late fall. I decided to make a memory quilt using those shirts. I “deconstructed” each shirt seam by seam while participating in the Fabric and Feelings weekly drop-in grief group.” A memory quilt is a quilt that reflects memories about life events or people. Many times, the clothing of loved ones is incorporated into a memory quilt. Ginny wanted her memory quilt to reflect Dave’s personality, character and quirks. “Each block has memories (usually more than one or two) associated with it.”

“The hospice logo block in Dave’s memory quilt represents Dave’s years of volunteerism with Hospice of the Western Reserve. It represents Dave’s stepping out of his comfort zone to actively go into homes and meet new individuals with a variety of needs. This level of involvement was unusual for him- not part of his character.”

Since Ginny has been attending the group, she has experienced other losses. Kathy, her closest friend of 38 years and fellow nurse, died in November 2016. Then in March 2017, Ginny’s 19-month-old grandson, Mark, died suddenly. This past March, Mark’s not-yet 4-month-old brother, Evan, also died. A rare genetic heart disease that affects the heart muscle was the cause of Evan’s death, and doctors suspect that it had also been the reason for Mark’s.

I asked Ginny what she has learned about herself in experiencing so much loss.

“It has reinforced that I am basically an optimistic person, that I am emotionally stronger than I previously knew and that despite the grief from all my losses, happiness and joy can coexist with sadness.

“My memories of Dave, Kathy, Mark and Evan help me get through the days. The memories I have of them in my life give me more joy and happiness than sadness. I have more sorrow with the loss of my grandsons as I did not have a chance to build many memories. I did not get to see them grow, become young men and experience their accomplishments.  Staying actively involved with family and friends, other activities and learning new things help. Getting involved in making this quilt and taking classes to improve my sewing skills has helped.  I’ve also met many new people.”

I asked Ginny what brings her hope.

“My belief in eternal life and that I will one day be reunited with my husband, friend and grandsons gives me hope.”

Dave served in the Navy on a submarine. He also was head shipkeeper for the USS Cod downtown. Ginny designed this submarine block herself.

This double heart block is the centerpiece of the quilt. The peach heart is made of Ginny’s Hawaiian shirt.
The Healing Arts Program offers diverse projects throughout the year, in several locations throughout Cuyahoga County. They are listed in this publication. The Healing Arts program provides grieving people with a creative outlet for their grief and is open to the community. The program is made possible by a project support grant from Cuyahoga Arts and Culture.